MY MIND IS A WAR ZONE
My own voice is crying inside my head.
My own voice leaps, it’s crying outside my head.
This voice, it tells me “I will hurt myself”,
This voice tells me, “I can hurt you”.
Damaged goods….”Damaged not good”
What’s that you say? “Grab something, they are out to get you, knock on the doors, knock on the walls, they can’t see what I am thinking, but they can see what you are thinking, they think you are crazy, you aren’t good enough, they are gonna harm you, you better watch them, you have already lost everything you have”
No, no, but I have to work. I have to take care of people. I have to drive my car. “Get rid of all of those things, those people at the job don’t care about you, you can just leave, those people don’t care if you are around, drive, drive, as fast as you can, ha ha ha, drive yourself until your dead in the ground”
Yo, I hear voices…..help…..me
Yo, I see things…..help…..you
Yo, I have lost my mind.
The voices have leaped out, people can’t see the difference between who I really am and the voices that believe in who I am.
“My head, it hurts so bad, I am confused. Irritable. Mind racing. I can’t sleep. Distracted. I can’t focus. So impulsive. I am crying. Feel hopeless. Helpless. Inadequate. No energy. No motivation. Can’t eat. Just not acting quite right. Agitated. Aggressive. Just on edge. This feels like a war zone. I don’t want to live”
The voices are building a forge of emotions arming themselves to cause destruction, I can’t tell what’s real from what is not real.
Wait, it’s 6am. I have to get ready for work. I have to care for people. I have to drive a car. “No you don’t have to work, you don’t have to take care of people, drive, drive, as fast as you can, ha ha ha, drive yourself until their dead again”
Someone help me before I hurt myself…..or you. “They don’t see you. They don’t care. But you are strong enough, make them see you, make them feel your pain”
What do I do? “There is someone standing in their backyard, ohhhh someone sitting at their desk; yes, there is your target; there is a school down the street, wait, your family upstairs asleep, your boss, didn’t like you anyway, remember you didn’t get that job promotion; that 8th grade teacher, take your dog with you, don’t forget that person walking down the street”
You are right, I am strong, I will make them listen to us. I will drive, drive, drive until someone else is dead again. “Your just another name added to a tombstone but don’t forget to pass your strength along. You may be gone but your voice will live on long after in the hearts, minds, lives of those who didn’t hear your cries for help” Your voice now lives 6ft above ground.
Mental illness is real. If you or someone you know may show signs, symptoms, irrational thinking, bizarre behavior or extreme emotions, or under responding to things around them….get them help. Sometimes, the voices are stronger than they are. Most times you are talking to the voices and not them. Before the voices leap at you, call the National Suicide Prevention Team at 1-800-273-8255.
Privy Oasis, LLC of Dallas, Tx has fully online telemedicine mental health services. Call 817-488-7771 to schedule your appointment today or email us at info@privyoasis.com. Now, you can get help from home, work, in your car, or school. Get help today. The mental health professionals in your community, OUR community are here.