The views expressed in this article are purely my own. Most of us have mental health boundaries and these are mine. I excluded children and military members from this article.
Over the years I have noticed friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands and wives, family, colleagues, children, etc., use text messages to discuss some very important things. As a person of boundary, I am astonished at how some folks use their best texting fingers to actually attempt to carry out serious dialogue!!! Those that are close to me know that I do not have a voicemail. Why? Because people will misuse this to leave inappropriate messages and messages of distress it’s triggering. Do not text business correspondence through text. Business messages go to business email. Why? It’s business. I will ignore it if it comes to text. It’s triggering to get a diverse group of messages via text(you will feel emotionally labile). So, for my mental health, leave texting in the space it’s meant to be used for. Very personal messages, 👉text “hey I need to discuss something with you, what’s a good time?” Are you all aware of how many messages are misinterpreted via text and how many cause stress? A lot!!My friends this is not healthy and can often be triggering. I value all of my close relationships. I use phone, calling on FaceTime or another video medium or face to face to connect and show them their worth and that I value their time and mine. Texting is just a gateway, a channel to communicate short thoughts and if need to be carried out over phone or in person then by all means request a meeting to continue the dialogue. Considering that most are resistant to change, I am here to help y’all out! Some habits are hard to break but they are going to get broken TODAY. Texting is not talking. AGAIN FOR THOSE IN THE BACK…….TEXTING IS NOT TAKING!!! Have you heard “we already talked about this” When? “Via text.” I use texting as a conduit for connecting but not for dialogue. For me it can be triggering to talk about certain things via text; each of us are different. Be aware of your mental health care as texting can trigger anxiety, distress, despondency, irritation, anger., Pick up the phone if you can, and talk. You never know what type of day that person may be having on the other end of the text zone. Here are some things that you should not text to someone. Please feel free to add and share and keep the list going!
1. Someone has died
2. Having a baby
3. Diagnosed with a serious illness
4. Car accident
5. Any health condition
6. Wanting a divorce
7. Asking someone to move out
8. Discussing mental illness
9. If you are upset about something
10. If you passed a test
11. Graduated from your program
12. Rape
13. Molestation
14. Child custody
15. Business discussions
16. Political views (folks fall out over this)
17. Your plans for the future
18. Expectations
19. Your need to be alone
20. Need for privacy
21. If you are jealous about something
22. About to commit suicide
23. Giving honest feedback.
24. Anything about sexual orientation
25. Anything about pregnancy
26. Any hardships
27. Money
28. Sex
29. Faith
30. Drinking habits